Monday, November 12, 2007

Microsoft Zune 30GB Digital Media Player (Black or White)

deal-sense is tingling. We feel…a disturbance. Forces are shifting.
Constellations are aligning. The clouds of fate roil madly in the sky
of destiny, presaging severe kismet storms with a 40% chance of
serendipity. The universe is trying to tell you something. No, not
“live life to the fullest” or “love your fellow Earthlings” or “wash
me”. It’s saying “Buy aZune now.”

Just look at the evidence. It goes way beyond our foul little cranny of cybertopia. Even the unwashed non-wooter masses (or you, if you like) can now get one of those brown Zunes no one wants at Amazon for $89.99, with free shipping. And they’re $89.99 at if you use Google Checkout.

It just doesn’t make sense.

Think about the engineers and R&D people who designed the Zune,
the workers who labored to mine and manufacture its components, the
programmers who created its media-playing software. Consider its 30GB
hard drive, 3”widescreen LCD, its FM tuner and headphones and wireless
interface. Ponder, if you will, how its battery can play for up to 14
hours on a charge – even more if you augment it with theBelkin TunePower (sold separately, by us). And yet, somehow, we’re able to bring you your choice of black or white Zunes
– the attractive ones – for the ludicrous price shown above. You’re
telling us that’s a mere ninety bucks worth of parts and labor? There’s
got to be something supernatural going on here.

Skeptics will say otherwise. They’ll point out how Microsoft made way too many brown Zunes, and the glut of those unloved models has constipated their entire system. They’ll drone on about the upcoming release of the Zune
2, and Microsoft’s willingness to absorb any cost to grab a piece of
the personal media market. They’ll do anything but face the truth: that
forces beyond our understanding are nudging us all towardZune ownership, for reasons the human mind cannot begin to comprehend.

How do we know? Why are we so sure? Because we’ve
felt it ourselves. Late last night, as we were planning this sale, a
chill wind blew through our transom. We were seized by an unexplained
impulse to offer a freeZune Travel Pack to anyone who orders two or three Zunes. It includes the Zune
Premium Earphones, Dual Connect Remote, AC Charger, Sync Cable, and a
decent carrying bag. Its value is listed at $99.99, although list
prices obviously mean nothing in this strange new world. We feel
irresistibly compelled to throw one of these kits into every order of
multipleZunes (just one free kit per order, not per Zune). We suspect the universe wants you to buy multiple Zunes, or hook a friend into buying one along with yours so you can keep the kit, and maybe even tell the friend the Zunes cost more than they do so you can get yours even cheaper. That’s between you and this so-called friend. The universe doesn’t care either way.

one thing we do know is that this celestial blue-light special won’t
last long. The Fates will weave a new skein, the stars will drift out
of calibration, Microsoft will finally clear their warehouses. Our
preliminary sheep-entrail readings confirm it: you probably won't be
able to get a full-featured media player this potent for less than
$100, and hence fulfill the cosmic destiny of humankind, for years to
come.Pre-order from Amazon, employ Google Checkout at, or grab a Black or White Zune from Woot, while you can. Do you really want to tempt fate?

Travel Pack Bonus Extra Clarification: Order 1 Zune and you get a Zune. Order 2 Zunes and you get 2 Zunes and 1 Travel Pack. Order 3 Zunes and you get 3 Zunes and 1 Travel Pack. As usual, Woot shipping is $5 per order regardless of quantity.

Warranty: One year


* 30GB hard drive stores up to 7,500 songs, 25,000 pictures or 100 hours of video (128 Kbps)
* 3” bright color LCD display can be customized with your photos for a personalized appearance
* Resolution 320×240, vertical or horizontal orientation
* Ultracompact player measures just 0.6” thin and weighs 5 oz.
* Supports MP3, WMA and ACC audio formats, displays JPEG image formats plus displays WMV, MPEG-4 and H.264 video formats
* Built-in FM tuner with RBDS broadcast signal support to display artist and track title
* Equalizer for a customized listening experience
* USB 2.0 interface for fast transfer speeds
* Zune-to-Zune sharing allows you to use a built-in 802.11b/g wireless interface to share tracks, homemade recordings, playlists and pictures with other Zune users; received tracks expire after you have listened 3 times or 3 days
* Flag shared tracks you like for easy downloading later with your Zune Pass (subscription required) in the Zune Marketplace
* Up to 14 hours battery life with the built-in lithium-ion battery
* Dimensions: 4.4×2.4×0.6 (HxWxD)
* Weight: 5.6 ounces